Decade’s End
I was mostly about to simply ruminate over what it means to have last year end for me. 2019 was an unusually long and rich one, but still it felt abrupt when it was over. It is strange to imagine that tomorrow onwards I will be writing 2020 instead of 2019 on the date sections. Yet, because my semester at Monash is only halfway, it barely feels like an end of anything tangible. I still have to go to ongoing classes and internship duties at Taylor’s University. I still have another autobiography to write and ongoing research literature to read.
But it also marked the end of a darn decade. What was I doing a decade ago?
2011 I was a struggling high school kid who lived his life, every day looking to escape it through the Internet. Some parts of that haven’t changed 10 years later, but I do appreciate my current life a little more. Back then I dreaded every day, missing out on homework, attending back to back tuition classes, studying things that had zero relevance to whatever I am interested in.
Now, I at least had things to look forward to and hung out with people I can connect to. I am counselling clients, reading interesting psychology, and having a lot more freedom to decide what I want.
The boy in 2010 was reading Chinese literature and already wanted to study psychology and become a therapist. He actually did find himself well on his way 10 years later, but he probably wouldn’t imagine himself trying to be an academic. He probably will think the young man 10 years later had too much to drink if he ever got wind of ‘trying to be a PhD candidate’, but then that part about drinking might not be too off. Sometimes the boy in 2010 knows a lot more than he imagines.
The boy in 2010 loved Pokemon games, he still does now even though he is steadily losing faith in the series. But he still finds time to notice and appreciate what makes them fun in a thorough manner. Things are going okay. He now games more respoinsibly without neglecting his work too much. That’s pretty okay.
The boy in 2010 actually started blogging already! I actually have 10 years of writing experience, perhaps with a respectable digital footprint now. I don’t know where this writing will eventually lead me: some days I disclose my own thoughts about how life has been going for me, some days I write about how is it like to be a student of counselling and psychology, some days I write about consumer technology, some days I do some pop science writing for psychology and counsellor development. There are also times where I reviewed books, anime, and games.
Now I look back at my writing portfolio, I wonder where am I going to end up. Will I one day become a novelist? Poet? Pop psychology writer? Keyboard philosopher? Will I be writing in English or Mandarin? Will I be writing detective fiction or another one out of thousand books talking about happiness? Will I be on Wuxia novels or isekai? Will some game company recognize my hidden world building and writing talents and make me a content developer? Will I find time in my schedule between doing research, counselling clients, giving lectures and workshops, to even make a publishable manuscript?
How might 2030 look like for me? I wouldn’t know. At this point in life I sorely lacked the courage to imagine as I live my days moment by moment. In fact, I couldn’t even imagine the end of my Masters and the horizon beyond, as there are hundreds of counselling hours log in, internship obligations to do, and a thesis to write. But just like a decade ago, I somehow had the audacity to think I have what it takes, and I was right.
Hopefully when I have the courage to imagine a future, I will be right again about that.
Originally published at http://experimentalanecdotes.wordpress.com on January 1, 2020.
